What was he thinking?

We have really been enjoying this week of lovely weather, and the kids have been taking full advantage of playing outside as long as possible. On these days I take advantage of them being outside and this particular day in question I was actually making dinner. Diana came in to tattle on Dannan, our just-turned-7 year old, which happens regularly, but this time I was horrified to hear what he had done.

Apparently a little girl that Diana knows had come up into our cul-de-sac to play. Dannan happens to be very possessive of our little dog, especially where Diana and her friends are concerned, and this friend wouldn't hand over the pooch. He got really mad and hit her with his light saber hard enough to leave a welt on her leg. When she ran home crying he had the nerve to call out to her "That's right, run home, Chubby!" I was honestly flabbergasted that a child of mine would do something so cruel. This is not what we teach in our family!! So, I had Diana send him in and told him that this kind of behavior was by no means acceptable and (though I dreaded it myself) he was going to have to go apologize to her. He was putting up a fight about that, and crying with remorse as I turned to see an unfamiliar woman standing in my open doorway.

She was not small, and her face was beat red. I could see that she had come looking for retribution. She reminded me very much of an angry hen, all puffed up and ready to peck someone's eyes out! I didn't even give her a chance to speak (I hate confrontation) before launching into an apology and telling her that I had not been out there, but I was just getting ready to march my son down to her house to apologize. I could see a little of her angry hen look fade, and she seemed to deflate a bit. Actually I don't think she expected me to respond the way I did. Her response sounded like something she had already been prepared to yell, although it came out rather half-heartedly, and directed at Dannan, "Well, you hit her really hard, look, you made a welt! My girl is a little bigger than you and I've told her if you do something like that again she can swat you!" After a little more talk to Dannan on proper weapon protocol she introduced herself in a friendly way and we chatted for a minute. All this time I was secretly relieved because she hadn't said anything about the "Chubby" comment. Just as they started to walk off the girl who had been standing by her mother turned around and said "Oh yeah and when I was leaving they were all calling me Chubby!" Dang!! I called to Dannan who had gone upstairs crying, and feeling remorseful and especially sad that he had to come in for the day. He called down another apology, and then I had Anders who was there also apologize (he's 5). He said "I'm sorry, kind of". I couldn't have been more embarrassed by my children's behavior! He told me later "But Mom, it was true, she was Chubby." It's not easy to explain to Anders that even if it's true, it hurts people's feelings, and he should keep those kind of thoughts to himself. I still don't think he understands why he shouldn't just tell the truth.